New Year: Renewal Amidst the Chaos

I walked into the school I consult in, and stop first at the school psychologist's office, with whom I work closely with. In the short amount of time we have known each other, she must have gotten accustomed to my Monday morning craziness. As I walked into her office - smiling calmly - she burst out laughing.

"New year.... New YOU?" She told me I looked "Zen."

"Hardly," I laugh back, "Zen would be pushing it. More like, 'not waking up with the suffocating anxiety I feel every Monday morning'"

Zen comes later, I guess.

And, it's back to the grind. Monday, January 3rd. 2011. The world may or may not end by next year.

But that's a differenmt story.

Last night, I promised myself that I would wake up crack of dawn to get my run on. To get started on the training for the half marathon I signed up first (in the past, I figured if I'd train, I would register. This year, I got wise: If I register, I will train).

I forgot an important step- if I don't oversleep, I will train.

Siiiggghhhh.

So, I miss my run because I overslept. A common occurrence in my life. ESPECIALLY when I don't set the alarm.

Derrr.

But, here's the back story - and the important piece I ofetn neglect in my head which allows for the forgiveness to come. The all important realization I am a HUMAN - not a robot:

I drove home yesterday from NJ. An almost 4 hour drive with my 3 year old.

I came home, and it was a bath for him. Then the cleaning up of the mess we left before our trip. Then the unloading of the car. Then the toy clean up after my son entertained himself while doing all of the above.

Then story.

Then bedtime - his. Not mine.

And then, while planning on going to bed early to be ready for my early morning wake up, my husband asks if I want to see a movie.

Oh yeah - relationship time.

I agree to a few episodes of Scrubs (my addiction - and another of my favorite Christmas presents - all the seasons in a box set. Rejoice!)

And then the late wake up call.

I sighed, but did not yell out "CRAP" the way I usually do.

I curled back in the covers, and gave myself the time to ease out of bed. And spent the morning with my husband and little boy, watching them wrestle...

Tomorrow, I plan on going to my spin class. My gym bag is packed. My spin clothes are laid out. From there I go straight to work.

Here's the worst part about Tuesdays: They usually are my late days. I do presentations most Tuesday nights... after working all day.

They can go from 12-14 hours, depending on the day.

I leave before my son wakes up, and come home after he is asleep. I don't get to see him at all most Tuesdays.

Even if I skipped my Spin class, I would still have to leave before he wakes up. so my warped logic is this: I may as well get a workout in, and do something healthy for myself, since a little piece of myself will be missing for the rest of the day.

This is another piece I always have to juggle.

I get asked so often how I find the time to work out.

Here's my answer: I squeeze it in to the little time I have for myself - sleep, recreation, etc. I try so hard to not take that time away from my son.

Sometimes, my days are like a jigsaw puzzle with 10000 pieces. Sometimes the pieces are all there. Sometimes they are under a couch cushion next to the cracker crumbs, lost toys, and God knows what else is under there.

I will do my best to wake up tomorrow morning for spin.